General
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
Because of the fear of rejection, we lose before we even start. Thinking, “I’ll be rejected anyway,” we give up on our desires without even trying. The fear of rejection stems from a lack of self-confidence. Behind every fear lies a sense of insecurity. Lacking confidence in yourself and in life creates fear. The only thing you need to overcome your fear of rejection is self-confidence.
A person who fears rejection cannot apply for the job they want, cannot approach someone they like… In other words, they cannot take that first step. With the thought, “I’ll be rejected anyway,” they lose before they even start. What if they aren’t rejected? They can’t even bring themselves to think about that. Without considering the happiness they would experience or the success they might achieve if they weren’t rejected, they focus solely on the rejection. They focus on the disappointment they’ll feel if they’re rejected. The feeling of shame robs them of the chance to be happy.
Give Yourself a Chance
What do we have to lose by trying? Aren’t we already losing out by not trying? It can’t get any worse than this anyway. If we try, what’s the worst-case scenario? Losing. We’ll end up with the same result as in the first option. When you try and fail, at least you can say, “I did my best.” Not trying at all means you’re not giving yourself a chance. Give yourself a chance to overcome your fear of rejection.
The person we hesitate to approach based on their outward appearance might actually share a worldview that aligns with ours. Their attitude toward life and their demeanor might be completely different from what we expected. The image you’ve formed of that person—or the impression they give you—might be misleading. Some people may seem very cold at first, but as you get to know them, you might be surprised to discover just how warm-hearted and friendly they actually are. You might think, “They’re so knowledgeable and intellectual because of their job—they wouldn’t talk to someone like me. They wouldn’t even respond to me,” but you could end up finding common ground with that person and chatting for hours. Don’t be fooled by people’s outward appearances and don’t judge them. Make an effort to get to know them. This effort will yield positive results for you.
It's Not the End of the World!
When you’re at ease—when you say, “It doesn’t matter to me”—you don’t give up on trying just because you think, “At worst, I’ll be rejected.” At worst, you’ll be rejected, and it’s not the end of the world. You’ll immediately try something else; you’ll turn to other options. You won’t be left with doubts like “What if I had tried?” constantly nagging at your mind.
You can’t get hired every time you apply or at every job interview, nor will every person you’re interested in say “yes” to you… When you think this way, you’ll feel more at ease taking steps forward. You, too, can’t always agree to everything everyone wants; you, too, may have to say no. You need to accept that both being rejected and rejecting others are perfectly natural. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Is it really possible for you to like everyone who likes you, or to hire everyone who applies for a job? Likewise, the other person can’t say “yes” to everything either. Rejecting and being rejected are perfectly natural.
Be Open to Criticism
People who are successful in sales are successful because they always view rejection as a natural part of the process. They know that not every customer will accept their product when they present it. If they meet with ten people, they might be able to sell their products to five or six of them. They don’t ask themselves, “This customer rejected me—what if the next one does too?” or “What if this customer doesn’t buy and rejects me?” After all, the customer is rejecting the product, not them. They are aware of this. To sell their products, they can research the most suitable customer base, identify which specific areas of the market are most active, and develop a systematic plan. They focus on reaching the audience that can buy the product, not those who reject it. They don’t get hung up on rejection. They think, “I couldn’t sell to these customers; I need to focus on the ones I can sell to,” and they keep working—they don’t give up.
To overcome your fear of rejection, you must be a self-confident person who is open to criticism. You won’t feel anxious because you’ll have the maturity to realize that anyone can be rejected. You won’t feel ashamed of the steps you take or the negative responses you receive. You’ll say, “I put in the effort; at least I tried, and I’ll keep trying—it doesn’t matter to me.”