Keep a Journal, See the Difference

Through personal development methods, people can heal themselves, reduce the toxicity they’ve internalized, cultivate positive thoughts, and even recover from illnesses. Ninety percent of illnesses are generated by the brain. If we feed our brains with positive thoughts, we will achieve a healthier life, personality, and body. Of course, these methods don’t produce results in three days.

We begin to see the effects gradually from the very first day, but it takes at least three to four weeks for the full effect to take hold. By the end of this process, we realize that we’ve made serious decisions in our lives and that these decisions have had significant consequences. The best way to observe this progress is to “take notes.”

NEW NOTEBOOK, NEW LIFE!

Start a new notebook for each new topic. On the first day you begin the program, write notes on the first page, such as “Here’s what I think about this topic,” “This is what I’m doing,” or “I sleep this many hours.” Let’s say there are aspects of your body you want to change. Write notes in your notebook such as, “I weigh … kilograms,” “I walk … minutes a day,” “I exercise … times a week,” “I pay attention to what I eat,” “I don’t eat bread,” and so on.

If you keep track of your progress by writing down every development in detail every day, without skipping anything, you’ll see at the end of the month that you’re definitely much further along than where you started. That’s because many people forget their early days. We even forget the recent past very quickly. It’s good to let go of the past and not dwell on it, but it’s beneficial to track our progress. Keeping a journal is very helpful for observing your progress and understanding how far you’ve come.

YOU BECOME YOUR OWN PSYCHOLOGIST

Keeping a journal is also important for seeing other developments in your life. Through your observations, you become your own psychologist. Just as a psychologist asks questions about your past to bring your problems to light and, using the answers they receive along with positive affirmations, helps you think differently. Keeping a journal or taking regular notes has the same effect—and even more. After all, while you spend an hour with a psychologist, you spend 24 hours with yourself. That’s amazing!

Here’s the secret: becoming your own psychologist; letting go of your inner blocks and negative thoughts, and charting the right and ideal path for yourself.

The Calm One Wins

A person in “It doesn’t matter to me” mode isn’t indifferent. They’re in a frame of mind where they can come up with solutions. “A bottle fell and broke. It’s not the end of the world. There’s nothing we can do about it right now. We’ll find a solution to this situation, too. I’ll solve these problems—we’ll solve them together. Don’t worry, relax,” they say.

If a person is irritable and their blood pressure rises in every situation, they lack the ability to solve problems. Their mind is clouded. It is impossible to come up with solutions or overcome problems while in that foggy, high-blood-pressure state. They absolutely cannot find a solution.

FIND A COMMON GROUND

A person with the “It doesn’t matter to me” mindset is someone with life experience. When a problem arises, they talk it out without arguing and find a mutual solution. They never shy away from a problem. Someone who behaves this way is self-confident—they trust themselves and can come up with solutions.

The “I don’t care” mindset isn’t about sweeping relationship problems under the rug. On the contrary, it’s a mindset that allows you to calmly confront issues and resolve misunderstandings. Because someone in this state of mind can communicate effectively and discuss matters comfortably, they can certainly convince the other person as well. They listen to the other person with a calm demeanor. Problems sometimes stem from not listening to the other person. They know that listening is a good way to solve problems.

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

A self-centered person won’t acknowledge when someone else is right. Because doing so would mean trampling on their ego. They don’t have the courage to act that way. Even when they are in the wrong, they persist and insist on their position until the very end. Even if they realize this, they won’t back down. In tense situations, they become so preoccupied with how to cause pain to the other person—which words to use to hurt them, how to rub salt into their wounds—that they shut their ears and refuse to listen at all. Even if the other person is saying the right things, they succumb to their ego.

For a character in “I don’t care” mode, what matters most is understanding what the other person means. They approach situations with empathy, striving to understand events and people. They evaluate issues without compromising their own personality or style. When they are at fault or in the wrong, they admit their mistake. Without arguing with the other person, they calmly try to make amends. People with this personality type are at peace in their relationships because they always find a way to reach an understanding with the other person, no matter the situation.

HAPPINESS IS EVERYONE'S RIGHT

Everyone has the right to happiness. If you’re unhappy, stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself: “Why am I unhappy? What perspective am I viewing things from that’s making me unhappy? What wrong choices have I made that are causing my unhappiness? Why did I make those mistakes when I made those choices?” Don’t blame anyone else when you’re unhappy. Don’t look outside yourself for the cause of your unhappiness. Look within yourself. If happiness is a choice, you must find the answers to what you should choose within yourself.

The moment you say, “Ayşe schemed behind my back, and I lost my job. That’s why she’s the reason for my current unhappiness,” there’s no way you can be happy. Because you can’t interfere with Ayşe; you can’t change Ayşe. But you can change yourself. If you ask yourself, “Why didn’t I notice what Ayşe was doing? How could I not have realized she was scheming behind my back? Why didn’t I see Ayşe for who she really is?” then you’ll have a chance to find a solution and be happy again. This doesn’t mean you should blame yourself.

Learn how to take lessons from bad experiences. If you don’t learn from this bad experience that happened to you, Fatma will deceive you again in two days. Without getting angry at yourself or judging yourself, figure out where you went wrong. As you learn from negative experiences, you’ll grow stronger. As you grow stronger, you won’t experience the same negative situations again, and you won’t be unhappy in the same way. A character in “I don’t care” mode simply learns from negative experiences. They don’t get stuck on events and don’t give up on moving forward on the path to happiness.

He always says, “I’ve learned a lesson from this unfortunate event that happened to me; I’ve understood and accepted this lesson that the universe has sent me so that I can move forward and grow. I will incorporate this lesson into my life as an experience. And thanks to this experience, I will create a more beautiful world for myself.”  

THE NEW GENERATION, THE HARBINGER OF LIGHT

Some people get too caught up in day-to-day events. They experience extreme anxiety about the future, driven by a belief that everything will turn out badly. I liken these widespread negative attitudes among people to the pangs of labor. The world may be experiencing the darkness of night. But we must not overlook the fact that a very intelligent generation is on the way. And these young people have a very positive attitude. I believe this generation is already the key—and the harbinger—of a much brighter future.

When people hit rock bottom, they make the most realistic assessments and the best decisions. As societies hit rock bottom, they will be able to establish much better systems. They will be much happier. People will make leaps far greater than they ever imagined. The dawn of new eras coincides with such periods. If someone had described cell phones to us just 50 years ago, we wouldn’t have believed it. But for the current generation, these technologies are child’s play. Just imagine the world these children will create. We can’t even imagine it right now. We can only envision a future based on our past experiences. But the new generation has witnessed a past with far more possibilities than ours. That’s why they can envision a future that’s different from—and more advanced than—ours. The low point of our generation will be transformed by the brightness of the new generation. We just need to be a little patient. A little calmer…

I believe a more sharing, more just order will be established—one in which everyone will be happy by empathizing with one another. It has never been night forever. Just as there is night, there is also day. We are going through a period of night, both in our country and in the world. But day will certainly come. And I can feel the warmth of the sun’s rays, even if I cannot yet see it. I can already sense the light created for us in the universe within the minds and brains of our children and future generations. Our children will create a world far, far more beautiful than the one we live in—I know this.

How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Because of the fear of rejection, we lose before we even start. Thinking, “I’ll be rejected anyway,” we give up on our desires without even trying. The fear of rejection stems from a lack of self-confidence. Behind every fear lies a sense of insecurity. Lacking confidence in yourself and in life creates fear. The only thing you need to overcome your fear of rejection is self-confidence.

A person who fears rejection cannot apply for the job they want, cannot approach someone they like… In other words, they cannot take that first step. With the thought, “I’ll be rejected anyway,” they lose before they even start. What if they aren’t rejected? They can’t even bring themselves to think about that. Without considering the happiness they would experience or the success they might achieve if they weren’t rejected, they focus solely on the rejection. They focus on the disappointment they’ll feel if they’re rejected. The feeling of shame robs them of the chance to be happy.

Give Yourself a Chance

What do we have to lose by trying? Aren’t we already losing out by not trying? It can’t get any worse than this anyway. If we try, what’s the worst-case scenario? Losing. We’ll end up with the same result as in the first option. When you try and fail, at least you can say, “I did my best.” Not trying at all means you’re not giving yourself a chance. Give yourself a chance to overcome your fear of rejection.

The person we hesitate to approach based on their outward appearance might actually share a worldview that aligns with ours. Their attitude toward life and their demeanor might be completely different from what we expected. The image you’ve formed of that person—or the impression they give you—might be misleading. Some people may seem very cold at first, but as you get to know them, you might be surprised to discover just how warm-hearted and friendly they actually are. You might think, “They’re so knowledgeable and intellectual because of their job—they wouldn’t talk to someone like me. They wouldn’t even respond to me,” but you could end up finding common ground with that person and chatting for hours. Don’t be fooled by people’s outward appearances and don’t judge them. Make an effort to get to know them. This effort will yield positive results for you.

It's Not the End of the World!

When you’re at ease—when you say, “It doesn’t matter to me”—you don’t give up on trying just because you think, “At worst, I’ll be rejected.” At worst, you’ll be rejected, and it’s not the end of the world. You’ll immediately try something else; you’ll turn to other options. You won’t be left with doubts like “What if I had tried?” constantly nagging at your mind.

You can’t get hired every time you apply or at every job interview, nor will every person you’re interested in say “yes” to you… When you think this way, you’ll feel more at ease taking steps forward. You, too, can’t always agree to everything everyone wants; you, too, may have to say no. You need to accept that both being rejected and rejecting others are perfectly natural. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Is it really possible for you to like everyone who likes you, or to hire everyone who applies for a job? Likewise, the other person can’t say “yes” to everything either. Rejecting and being rejected are perfectly natural.

Be Open to Criticism

People who are successful in sales are successful because they always view rejection as a natural part of the process. They know that not every customer will accept their product when they present it. If they meet with ten people, they might be able to sell their products to five or six of them. They don’t ask themselves, “This customer rejected me—what if the next one does too?” or “What if this customer doesn’t buy and rejects me?” After all, the customer is rejecting the product, not them. They are aware of this. To sell their products, they can research the most suitable customer base, identify which specific areas of the market are most active, and develop a systematic plan. They focus on reaching the audience that can buy the product, not those who reject it. They don’t get hung up on rejection. They think, “I couldn’t sell to these customers; I need to focus on the ones I can sell to,” and they keep working—they don’t give up.

To overcome your fear of rejection, you must be a self-confident person who is open to criticism. You won’t feel anxious because you’ll have the maturity to realize that anyone can be rejected. You won’t feel ashamed of the steps you take or the negative responses you receive. You’ll say, “I put in the effort; at least I tried, and I’ll keep trying—it doesn’t matter to me.”

The Fear of Not Making Friends Can Lead to Loneliness

It is a wonderful thing for a person to have friends. Everyone wants to have a friend—or friends—with whom they can share both their happiness and their sorrow, and whom they can trust in every situation. Human beings are social creatures. A healthy person needs to be socially engaged and in communication with those around them. There is no need more natural than sharing one’s life with others while maintaining harmonious relationships with oneself and one’s surroundings.

To make friends, we must be selfless, generous, honest, and loving. Friendship is a type of relationship that develops when we embody these qualities toward one another. For a friendship to form, it is important for both parties to share the same attitudes toward each other.

Don't Push People Away

Going to extreme lengths to make friends will only leave you alone. You can’t make friends by thinking, “I want people around me so I won’t be alone. I’m afraid of being alone.” No one wants to be your friend or companion just so you won’t be alone. When you try to socialize and make friends to alleviate your loneliness, you project an image of weakness and a lack of self-confidence. This image you project is not at all attractive. You end up pushing people away.

People who are overly familiar with everyone they meet—who share their most private matters and are more open than necessary—don’t easily make friends. Friendship isn’t a relationship that can be formed with just anyone. It takes time, effort, and—most importantly—mutual trust. If you’re too open with everyone you meet, people won’t take you seriously or trust you. You may have a lot of acquaintances and a wide social circle, but you won’t have any friends you can truly trust. You’ll generally end up in unhealthy relationships with people who try to take advantage of you—or even make fun of you behind your back.

Be Patient and Keep Your Cool

To make friends, you need to be patient and level-headed. You have to carefully assess the person you’re dealing with. But if you think, “I don’t want to be alone—as long as there’s someone in my life,” you’ll become impatient when it comes to making friends. You’ll see people who are unnecessarily and excessively generous with those around them just to have friends. They always pick up the tab everywhere they go. They’re constantly treating those around them to things… It’s as if they feel that if they don’t do these things, no one will want to be friends with them. They resort to exaggerated behavior in an attempt to prove their worth.

A person who works on self-improvement doesn’t rush to make friends or find close friends. First, they are at peace with themselves and aren’t afraid of being alone. They choose their friends and close friends carefully. They don’t share everything with everyone. They can clearly distinguish between who is a true friend and who isn’t. They don’t resort to unnecessary or exaggerated behavior just to make friends. If someone wants to be their friend, they want that person to be their friend because they truly value them.

The most important thing for making friends is listening to people. Listen to the person you’re talking to. You need to listen in order to understand what kind of person they are, what they like, and what you have in common. Listening helps you understand the other person. You can’t be friends with someone whose thoughts and feelings you don’t understand. People often don’t listen to one another. Remember: When someone feels valued, they’ll want to be your friend—and they’ll be happy about it.

People who are anxious about making friends cannot make friends. This is because they are constantly straining to do so. In their desperation to be liked, they resort to desperate actions that make them look ridiculous. Before you start trying and searching for someone to be your friend, become the kind of person who can be a good friend yourself.

Let Them Dream!

If you want your child’s brain to develop optimally, help them cultivate the ability to imagine. Starting from birth, you can nurture your child’s imagination through the stories and fairy tales you tell, as well as the examples and descriptions you provide. Everything you see in the world we live in today began as an idea. Think about the house you live in. This house first takes shape in an architect’s mind. Then it is put down on paper. Next, the necessary materials are procured. And finally, the house is built. After a certain amount of time, the house comes into being.

Everything begins with imagination. Therefore, we need to provide an education that will enhance children’s imagination, stimulate their ability to dream, and turn it into a habit. If you succeed in providing children with this kind of education from a young age, you will raise children who think differently, can dream differently, can come up with different projects, and see things from a different perspective. In a sense, you’ll be raising the “super kids” of the future.

Making Decisions Is a Great Skill

One of the key factors for success is developing decision-making skills. People who dream are creative. The ability to dream fosters awareness and goes hand in hand with the ability to make sound decisions. As a result, they develop decision-making skills from a young age. This way, when they become adults, they know exactly what to do without hesitation. They know—and are confident—about how and through which paths to move forward in pursuit of their goals and objectives. The formula for success lies precisely here.

Imagination is humanity’s greatest power. Successful people have achieved their goals through imagination. For this reason, the technique of creative visualization—that is, the power of imagination—is very important. There is a law in the universe known as the law of attraction. You imagine and think, and whatever you think about, you attract to yourself from the universe. If we teach children about this law of attraction from a young age—since their minds are still open—we can help them develop their creativity by presenting these concepts to them in a playful way.

Think Outside the Box

You, too, can find games that help develop your children’s imagination. Go outside with your child, encourage them to imagine where you’re going, or close your eyes together and bring a game to life in your imagination. Share the details with your child, and then let them share theirs…

Without dreams, there is no motivation. People who dream explore broad horizons and pursue grand goals. Teach your child to set small, incremental goals for themselves. By doing so, you can help them move from small goals to big ones.

Parents’ narrow-minded expectations can also limit children’s big dreams. Children of parents who say, “We can’t succeed,” end up standing still. However, while teaching them to dream, you must also know how to set boundaries. They need to be prepared for real life. There are no limits to imagination, but there are limits in real life. They need to understand this. They should set their goals with this in mind and be able to define the boundaries of their dreams…

Image Is Nothing!

In today’s world, image is made out to be everything. When you get to know someone who has cultivated a very good image, you soon realize they’re hollow inside—a person completely unrelated to their image… Getting to know them up close brings only disappointment and disillusionment…

I’ve had an experience in America. When it comes to image, they have no equal in the world. Their sole goal is to be the center of attention for everything. Packaging is their greatest achievement. For example, New York is just a facade in my eyes. It’s a beautiful city, but it’s not the kind of city it’s exaggerated to be in those movies. It’s nothing like they make it out to be…

It’s the same for people, too. Some people we see from the outside project a perfect image. But then you hear them say just a couple of words, and you realize how shallow they really are. We’re heading toward a world where people place far too much value on appearances. Everyone chases after empty images in an effort to be like those who are loved and admired, without even considering whether it suits them or not. The majority of people are becoming more and more alike.

Duplicate Lives

The same type of people are everywhere, as if they’d all come off an assembly line… Just because it’s “fashion” doesn’t mean everyone has to do the same thing. If you’re at peace with yourself—if you can look in the mirror and say, “I’m happy just the way I am”—then how fortunate you are. Some images are literally imposed on us through perception management. Obsessions like, “Everyone’s growing a beard, so I’ll grow one too,” or “Short hair is in style—all the famous women have cut their hair, so I’ll cut mine too…” distance us from our true selves and our real character. They turn us into people who copy others. We become dependent on the approval of others. The desire to look like everyone else becomes an addiction. Sometimes, to avoid being excluded by society, we find ourselves compelled to imitate others without even realizing it. The “I don’t care” mindset is about being at peace with yourself and being exactly who you want to be. It’s not an obsession.

Your Body Belongs to You

One of the images imposed on us regarding physical appearance is body measurements… Demands like “You must weigh this much, have this body shape, or be this height” are on the rise. Body measurements have become so important that people are going on diets—and even undergoing surgery—while disregarding their health. Your body is yours. You decide what it should look like. If you want to lose weight—and since it’s something you want for yourself—the most important thing is to do it in a healthy way for the sake of your health. Furthermore, body measurements aren’t the only thing that matters. You also need to take care of your character. Your personal growth and human values are just as important as your body measurements.

You’re going to create an image—make sure it’s truly authentic and reflects who you are; most importantly, be genuine and original. Ask yourself, “How much of myself am I showing?” It’s not about the image; what matters is that you’ve found yourself.

Be at peace with yourself; be self-aware. Do you know yourself? When you look in the mirror, is that really you? Or are you just an image created by those around you? An image is like a fantasy. We only recognize the true value of a person, an object, or an event when we get to know them closely. Similarly, we can only recognize our own true value when we get to know ourselves closely.

Hurrying Slows You Down!

The “It Doesn’t Matter to Me” mindset helps you use your time wisely. When you’re in a relaxed state of mind, you’re free from panic and chaos. Your mind isn’t clouded. You can organize your schedule in a planned manner. You’ll be free from your obsessions. Your self-confidence will guide you toward what you’re capable of, and you’ll know exactly when, where, and what steps to take.

A self-confident person who is aware of their capabilities knows how long it will take them to complete their tasks and plans accordingly. Most importantly, a person who is in “I don’t care” mode is aware of their responsibilities and knows they must use their time efficiently to fulfill them.

Panic Leads to Mistakes

The more you rush, the longer your work will take—and you may even run into setbacks. Your time may be limited for any number of reasons. Time management is all about dealing with limited time. When you have plenty of time, there’s no need for time management. The tasks you need to complete within a limited timeframe can cause you stress. Positive stress can even serve as a strong motivation to make the most of your time. However, rushing because your time is limited can actually sabotage your work. Working hastily in a panic often leads to mistakes.

I’ve been in a few car accidents in my life. In all of them, my common mistake was being in a hurry. I was really in a rush. Rushing didn’t do me any good. I wasn’t able to make it to my appointment on time, nor was I able to get my tasks done on time. As if being late weren’t enough, I had to deal with other problems on top of that. Instead of being five minutes late, I ended up being five hours late. If I had stayed calm, I could have made it to the places I needed to be.

When you’re in a hurry, you can’t even do the things you’re capable of doing. You can’t even see what’s right in front of you. Your hands and feet tremble from the rush, and you can’t even maintain your physical balance. Even your blood pressure changes. How can you possibly manage your time in that state? But when you’re in “I don’t care” mode, you have the ability to calmly turn even the most critical situations around. You can take risks with ease. Because you’re confident in what you can do.

Not Everything Can Be Controlled

Are you about to be late for an appointment? If you think calmly, you’ll figure out what to do. Maybe you’ll leave your car behind and take the subway instead. Because you’re calm, the solution you come up with will help you avoid an accident and still make it to your appointment on time. The “It doesn’t matter to me” mindset gives you the ability to find solutions. Free from haste and panic, you’ll succeed with a cool head even under the tightest time constraints.

You might not be able to control everything. On your way to a place you thought you’d make it to, unexpected setbacks unrelated to you might arise, preventing you from going. Or you might get sick before exam day and lose a few days. These are normal things that can happen beyond your control. In such situations, it’s important to stay relaxed—that is, to be in “I don’t care” mode. Because when you’re relaxed, the tension in your mind decreases. You’ll have clear and fluid thoughts. You’ll focus on how to get a lot done in a short time or how to meet your deadlines. You can make new plans to use the time you have to your advantage. Just stay calm and trust yourself.

Happiness Is a Choice

Imagine two screens in front of you, side by side—one on the right, the other on the left… The screen on the right constantly shows negative news. Every day, it reports on how the economy is struggling, how living conditions are getting tougher, how traffic accidents and crime rates are rising, how society is deteriorating, environmental pollution, and so on. It broadcasts the most disheartening news nonstop.

Which of the Two Screens!

On the screen on the left, however, only positive news is shown. It tells stories about how people help one another, how those who work hard achieve success, positive developments in society, and so on. Which of these two screens would you prefer to watch?

If you constantly watch the screen on the right, how does that make you feel? What do you gain from watching the screen on the left? The answers you give to these questions reveal what your life is really like. “I constantly focus on negative events, and I live my life in a negative way,” or “I constantly focus on positive events, and I always live my life in a positive way.”

When you’re in “It doesn’t matter to me” mode, you’re aware of the negative events in life but don’t let them affect your own life. Most importantly, you don’t view life through a negative lens. Yes, negative events can happen—whether in our own lives or in the lives of others. No one’s life is perfect. But you can still maintain a positive outlook on life. Whichever you choose, that’s what you’ll experience.

Build Your Life Through Small Choices

The things that make us happy or unhappy are our choices. We live the way we choose to, based on what we choose to focus on. With every small choice we make, we’re building our future. We choose one of two things: to be happy or to be unhappy. Once you realize that happiness is a choice, it becomes easier to be happy.

There’s something I often say: Bad is actually good. How can bad be good? If we can learn from it, that’s great. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we expect, and we might call that situation “bad.” But then, as time goes by, we realize that it was actually for the best that it didn’t happen, and we say, “It’s a good thing it didn’t happen.” What matters is being able to see the silver lining in a bad situation and moving forward by learning from it. That is what it means to choose happiness.

I believe a more sharing, more just order will be established—one where everyone will be happy by empathizing with one another. Night has never lasted forever. Just as there is night, there is also day. We are going through a period of night, both in our country and in the world. But day will certainly come. And I can feel the warmth of the sun’s rays, even if I cannot yet see it. I can already sense the light created for us in the universe within the minds and hearts of our children and future generations. I know that our children will create a world far, far more beautiful than the one we live in.

The More We Share, the More It Comes Back to Us

We can share everything: our energy, our earnings, our love, our joy, our knowledge, our hard work, our experience… The more we share, the more it multiplies and comes back to us. We share in the problems of those around us. Offering advice, providing support, and lending a helping hand are all good things. Helping others is also a form of sharing.

The more we share, the more it comes back to us. This is a law of the universe. If you share good things and are a good person, the universe will certainly not leave you empty-handed. Whenever you need help, you’ll find the support you need.

It Takes a Good Heart

It is very clear that the mantra we write will not work for evil people. If your heart is evil, never write our mantra. If you try to write this mantra to achieve evil or negative things, it will not work. Let’s make this clear from the start: it requires discipline, and it requires a heart filled with good intentions. Otherwise, it will not work.

The mantra “Today We Are Creating a Better Version of Ourselves” simply makes you a better person. You become more generous, more empathetic, less self-centered, and more honest. That’s for sure. I’d also like to explain this: We can share everything. There’s no limit to what we can share.

Be a Source of Inspiration!

When you start writing this mantra, you’ll see very clear changes in your life. Share these changes with others on your social media accounts—without exaggerating. When you share your transformation with your spouse and friends, you can inspire them to change their own lives as well. That way, they, too, will have the opportunity to become a better version of themselves, just like us. Isn’t that wonderful? So, sharing is the secret to this whole process.